Laura Novakowski has some thoughts about being authentic...



Follow the “Triple Filter” Rule
      Be Authentic with Yourself!
           Laura Novakowski

The “Triple Filter” rule comes to mind for me when I think about behaving with authenticity.

What’s the “Triple Filter” rule? Socrates came up with this concept centuries ago for communication and dialogue - "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?"

I’d like to frame this concept a little differently for you.

Who do we have the most conversation and dialogue with at any given time? It’s my opinion that it is our selves. So why do we so often “lie” to ourselves?

Recently, in the Dodgers versus Philly’s race to the World Series, I saw the Dodgers lose the game. Now, I’m from Pennsylvania and root for the home team, however, I do like to see both teams play well. Instead, I saw and felt players who failed to be authentic. If they would have engaged the“Triple Filter” rule- they might have won – at least the outcome would have been much better than 5 to 1.

First, one might ask, “Is it true?” When one of the players had 2 errors on 1 play, you could see him starting to believe he was a jerk and a really bad player. I felt his disappointment as I saw his eyes say “I believe that I’m not really good enough to be here.” That became his truth. When in reality, his truth was he had played good enough all season to get there and was having a bad moment. If he would have been more truthful with himself, I believe there would have been a big difference in how he played the rest of the game. If he was authentic with himself, he would have told himself the truth, that he is a great person!

Next, this same player could have asked, “Is it kind?” As other players attempted to give him support, he responded quickly and then moved off to the side - alone. Head down in his hands, hecontinued to punish himself. Of course the camera was being really helpful and would close in on his face. His anguish for me was palpable. He struck me as the kind of man that would have attempted to help someone else out and say – “give yourself a break, everyone makes mistakes.” Does this resonate with any of you – do you believe it’s better to beat yourself up for hours, days, weeks, even years for a mistake. The kindest thing to do is be authentic and forgive yourself.

Finally, “Is it necessary?” to beat yourself, berate yourself and change your beliefs and thoughts about who you are from a few seconds under pressure. I don’t believe it is necessary. What I do believe is that using the Socratic Rule can and does help us to become more authentic.

Why not try the “Triple Filter” rule? And, become authentic with yourself!




Laura Novakowski, RN,NHA,MBA is a contributing writer for Not-Just-Recipes.com. She is president of Positive Power Strategies, Inc. a change and personal/professional development company committed to creating sustainable positive outcomes with people and organizations. You can find out more about Laura and her organization at Positive Power Strategies, Inc.